he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
