My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
