What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
