Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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