quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
