Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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