I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sext me about skeletons
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
