every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
