just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
