and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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