theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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