I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
