She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Naked. naked and bneed help.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
