I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
As shirtless as possible
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
