Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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