so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
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You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
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My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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