i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
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well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
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He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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