Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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