capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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