Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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