This is not my ceiling
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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