It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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