I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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