In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
