That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
