but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
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I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize