she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
