But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
