I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
