Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
