i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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