Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Even my vagina gasped.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I didn't notice because vodka
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
