I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
