do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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