Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
