Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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