I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
