Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
