in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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