Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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