I think my vagina is haunted
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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