I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
They left me at home... I'm a liability
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize