I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
