____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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