I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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