kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize