I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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