Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize