Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
