i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
