Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
