Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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