I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
