I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
