I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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