Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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