I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
