i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Terrible idea I love it
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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