Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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