We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
