sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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