she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize